Born in Babylonia: He Gave his Life to Tourism...

A synopsis of our recent King Tut experience--as lifted near-verbatim from a note to a friend...

We stayed at the Loew's Philadelphia at 12th and Market (least expensive hotel with a King Tut Package, pool for the boys, and decent accessibility). Really cool-beautiful design: all streamlined and art-deco modernist. NICE!

But:

My dad has arthritis/joint-deterioration/swelling issues. He walks with the help of a cane but can't stand for extended periods and really can't *walk* all that far. Oh. And would BURN SLOWLY IN THE ETERNAL FIRES OF HELL before he sat down in a wheelchair...

Add to this:

My mom--who, when not *worrying* about my dad--spends her time either yelling at him or stridently begging the holy family for the strength to continue...

James--who doesn't walk down blocks so much as ROCKET down them...whether he knows where he's going or no...

and Ben--who likes to examine EVERY particle of every THING he passes. And perhaps construct a spontaneous ode in iambic pentameter to the more interesting images. But only after deep, deep consideration...and perhaps a voluble argument with his brother...who HEY! Seems to have run completely around the block and so is back with us!

So, for eating, we just ate at the sports bar across the street the first night (after sampling cocktails and listening to some light jazz at the bar attached to our hotel [SoleFood]). Note: we could not EAT at SoleFood because Ben would have had a heart attack and preached on the evils of over-fishing, man-created ecological imbalance and, in particular, the plight of (shrimp-eating) whale sharks...

The next morning, however, we ate at the Reading Terminal at the breakfast-y diner-ish landmarkish place whose name currently escapes me. Best sausage and bacon I've had in a loooooooooooooong time. And buttermilk pancakes. No scrapple. We walked around a bit inside before heading back to the hotel, checking out, and driving over to the Franklin Institute.

I got a pretty good look at the region of the city we were staying in because I DROVE THROUGH a good portion of it. Some of it twice. I was trying to make a left onto 12th (parking garage) while heading east on Market--but EVERY TIME I wanted to turn left...there would be a sign saying "NO TURNS". "What is it with this place?" thought I. Do you have to drive into Jersey to make a left hand turn?

But no. Those signs meant no RIGHT HAND TURNS...the wrong way...onto the one-way streets...

Ah, the perils of literalism...in my defense, my mom (next to me in the car at this point) was JUST as confused as I was...


Most memorable part of the Tut Exhibit: calling James name in an EXTREMELY CROWDED room and receiving no immediate reply. Repeatedly calling the full name of "the spare". Still, no answer. Pushing through people, beginning to worry...and finally spying what looked SUSPICIOUSLY TO ME like BUNNY EARS gamboling about behind a bust of Nefertiti. He'd squeezed into the space between the glass case and the wall. Thought the goers-by would appreciate a moment of humor in the midst of all the 'really old stuff'...

After that, I held the boy's hand. Isis, goddess of motherhood, would have been proud. We went through the exhibit more quickly than the rest of the family--yes... But, on the plus side, at no time during the subsequent afternoon did I develop a stuttering eye-tic. And, too, I was almost rendered incontinent with love when this same child ultimately went into the gift shop and asked to buy a small Egyptian head-dress to wear as part of his Halloween costume for this year. He does learn and appreciate. In his way...

James' Syllabus for the Year

JAMES’S SYLLABUS FOR THE YEAR

August
• Writing:
o Grade 3 Writing Curriculum Week by Week Lessons-Scholastic
• Social Studies:
o Rivers of the World (Core Knowledge)
o Looking at a Map Legend (Core Knowledge)
• Reading:
o Poetry Selections
o Why Mosquitoes Buzz in People’s Ears (Picture Book)—Leo and Diane Dillon
o Anansi, The Spider (Picture Book)--Gerald McDermott
o Beautiful Blackbird (Picture Book)—Ashley Bryan
o Uncle Remus: Brer Rabbit—Julius Lester
o “Rivers” Kids Discover Magazine
o Minn of the Mississippi—Holling Clancy Holling
• Math:
o Unit I,—Math U SEE (Beta)
• Geography:
o Rivers, especially The Nile—www.worldatlas.com
• Science:
o Ecology, World We’re In (Core 339-344)
• Field Trip: King Tut Exhibit, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
• Movie: Raiders of the Lost Ark


September
• Writing:
o Grade 3 Writing Curriculum Week by Week Lessons-Scholastic
• Social Studies:
o Bill & Pete Go Down the Nile
o I Wonder Why Pyramids Were Built
o Mummies Made in Egypt—Aliki
• Reading:
o Festival of Freedom: Story of Passover—Maida Silverman
o Moses in the Bulrushes—W. Hutton
o Hundredth Name(Picture Book)--Oppenheim
o Yussel’s Prayer(Picture Book)--Cohen
o Tales of the Old Testament (Audio)—read by Jim Weiss
• Math:
o Unit II, Lessons 7-14—Math U SEE (Beta)
• Geography:
o Middle East—www.worldatlas.com

• Science
o Scientific Method—habits of the scientific mind (shell lesson plan)
o Brain and Nervous System (Core Knowledge)
o The Brain: What it is, What it Does—Bruun & Bruun
o Hands-On Science Mysteries—James Robert Taris and Louis James Taris
• Movie: Fiddler on the Roof
• Field Trip: The Cloisters Museum


October
• Writing:
o Grade 3 Writing Curriculum Week by Week Lessons-Scholastic
• Social Studies:
o Ancient Greece—Core Knowledge: 92-98
• Reading:
o Greek Myths for Young Children—Marcia Williams
o Trojan Horse: How the Greeks Won the War—Marcia Williams
o Wings—Jane Yolen
o Athens vs. Sparta—Nov/Dec 96 Calliope Magazine
• Math:
o Unit III—Math U SEE (Beta)
• Geography:
o Ancient World Rome/Greece—www.worldatlas.com
• Science:
o Understanding the Metric System-- http://edhelper.com/metric_system.htm
o Skeletal & Muscular System (Core Knowledge)
o Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris
• Movie: Jason and the Argonauts
• Field Trip: Greek and Roman Galleries, Metropolitan Museum of Art

November
• Writing:
o Grade 3 Writing Curriculum Week by Week Lessons-Scholastic

• Social Studies:
o Ancient Rome—Core Knowledge: 88-114
• Reading:
o Myths from Ancient Greece & Rome—Core Knowledge: 47-56
o Classic Myths to Read Aloud—William Russell
o Pompeii: Kids Discover Magazine
o Pompeii: Buried Alive—Edith Kunhardt
o The First Thanksgiving—Jean Craighead George
o Squanto and the First Thanksgiving—Joyce Kessel
o Comets, Asteroids, and Meteors—Dennis Fradin
o Our Solar System—Seymour Simon
o Space---Ian Ridpath
• Math:
o Unit IV—Math U SEE (Beta)

• Science:
o Astronomy as it relates to the myths: Stars: A New Way to See Them—H. A. Rey
o Astronomy: Core Knowledge (320-333)
o Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris
• Field Trip: Socrates Sculpture Park, Long Island City


December
• Writing:
o Grade 3 Writing Curriculum Week by Week Lessons-Scholastic
• Social Studies:
o Early Explorers in North America (130-139)
• Reading:
o The Apple and the Arrow: The Legend of William Tell—Buff
o People of the Breaking Day—Marcia Sewall
o Christopher Columbus: From Vision to Voyage—George Ancona\
o Exploration & Conquest: The Americas after Columbus: 1500-1620
• Math:
o Review & Final—Math U SEE (Beta)
• Geography:
o Europe—www.worldatlas.com
• Science:
o Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris
o Sound and Hearing—Core 315-318
• Miracle at 34 th St.
• Field Trip: New York City at Christmastime

January
• Writing:
o Grade 3 Writing Curriculum Week by Week Lessons-Scholastic
• Social Studies:
o English Colonies in N. America/American Indians (Core)
• Reading:
o The Story of William Penn—Aliki
o The Pilgrims of Plimouth—Marcia Sewall
o If You Lived in Colonial Times—Ann McGovern
o If You Sailed on the Mayflower—Ann McGovern
• Math:
o Unit I,—Math U SEE (Gamma)
• Geography:
o North America—www.worldatlas.com
• Science:
o Light & Vision (Core)
o Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris


February
• Writing:
o Grade 3 Writing Curriculum Week by Week Lessons-Scholastic
• Social Studies
o The Vikings: Raiders & Traders (Core)
• Reading:
o The People Could Fly—Virginia Hamilton
o Martin Luther King, Jr.: A Man Who Changed Things—Carol Greene
o A Picture Book of Rosa Parks—David Adler
o The Story of Ruby Bridges—Robert Coles
o Mythology: Gods, Heroes & Tricksters from Scandinavia (Core)
• Math:
o Unit II—Math U SEE (Gamma)
• Geography:
o United States—www.worldatlas.com
• Science:
o Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris

• Movie: Raisin in the Sun
• Field Trip: Studio Museum in Harlem

March
• Writing:
o Grade 3 Writing Curriculum Week by Week Lessons-Scholastic
• Social Studies
o American History—Core (120-129)
• Reading:
o Mexican Folktales From the Border—Riley Aiken
o Iroquois Stories: Heroes & Heroines, Monsters & Magic—Joseph Bruchac
o Learning About Literature—Core (58)
o Sayings & Phrases—59-62
• Math:
o Unit III—Math U SEE (Gamma)
• Geography:
o South America—www.worldatlas.com
• Science:
o Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris
• Field Trip: Met—Art of the Spanish Americas

April
• Writing:
o Grade 3 Writing Curriculum Week by Week Lessons-Scholastic
• Reading:
o Klara’s New World—Jeanette Winter
o The Lotus Seed—Sherry Garland
o Molly’s Pilgrim—Barbara Cohen
o Peppe, The Lamplighter—Elisa Bartone
o Silver at Night—Susan Bartoletti
• Math:
o Unit IV—Math U SEE (Gamma)
• Geography:
o World—www.worldatlas.com
• Science:
o Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris
• Field Trip: Lower East Side Tenement Museum
• Movie: Avalon
• Movie: I Remember Mama

May
• Writing:
o Grade 3 Writing Curriculum Week by Week Lessons-Scholastic
• Social Studies:
o Civilizations in Asia—Core (2nd Grade) 97-112
• Reading:
o The Arabian Nights—Brian Alderson
o Ali Baba & the Forty Thieves—Walter McVitty
o Just So Stories (selections)—Rudyard Kipling
• Math:
o Review and Finale—Math U SEE (Gamma)
• Geography:
o Asia—www.worldatlas.com
• Science:
o Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris
• Field Trip: International Center of Photography
• Movie: Stolen Childhoods

June
• Writing:
o Grade 3 Writing Curriculum Week by Week Lessons-Scholastic
• Social Studies:
o Review
• Reading:
o Lives of the Artists: Masterpieces, Messes…--Kathleen Krull
o Round Buildings, Square Buildings and Buildings that Wriggle Like Fish—Philip Isaacson
o Tar Beach—Faith Ringgold
o Faith Ringgold—Robin Montana Turner
o John Muir: Man of the Wild Places—Carol Greene
• Math:
o Review, if necessary
• Geography:
o review—www.worldatlas.com
• Science:
o Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris
o What were your favorite experiments from this year? Why?
• Movie: Miracle Worker
• Field Trip: Fun day in New York/Central Park.

Quiet, Right? Look here!

Ben contributes money saved from tooth fairy and lemonade stands to Riverhead Foundation affiliated with Atlantis Marine World. Total contribution (given in Boy Scout popcorn can in cold, hard cash) exceeds $60.

BEN’S SYLLABUS FOR THE YEAR
(Created by his mom with help from E. D. Hirsch's Core Knowledge series and Books to Build On.)

August
• Writing Theme:
Years from now: what will I remember from my experiences this summer?
• Social Studies:

• Deserts

• Plants and Animals of the Deserts (Core Knowledge: 75-81)

• Reading:

• Mufaro’s Beautiful Daughters (Picture Book)—John Steptoe

• Why Mosquitoes Buzz in People’s Ears (Picture Book)—Leo and Diane Dillon

• Anansi, The Spider (Picture Book)--Gerald McDermott

• Abiyoyo (Picture Book)—Pete Seeger

• Beautiful Blackbird (Picture Book)—Ashley Bryan

• The People Who Could Fly: American Black Folktales—Virginia Hamilton

• Math:

• Unit I, Lessons 1-6—Math U SEE (Gamma)

• Geography:

• Africa—www.worldatlas.com

• Field Trip: King Tut Exhibit, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
• Movie: Raiders of the Lost Ark


September
• Writing Theme:

• Why do you think that God is important?

• Language Arts

• Nonfiction Passages with Graphic Organizers—Scholastic

• Follow Directions & Learn--Scholastic

• Social Studies:

• “Judaism & Christianity”—Core Knowledge, 83-90

• How Do You Spell God? (Nonfiction)—Marc Gellman &Thomas Hartman (The God Squad)

• Reading:

• Buddha (Picture Book)—Susan Roth

• Parables(Picture Book)—Tomie DePaola

• Hundredth Name(Picture Book)--Oppenheim

• Yussel’s Prayer(Picture Book)--Cohen

• Tales of the Old Testament (Audio)—read by Jim Weiss

• Math:

• Unit II, Lessons 7-14—Math U SEE (Gamma)

• Geography:

• SW Asia—www.worldatlas.com

• Science

• Scientific Method—habits of the scientific mind (shell lesson plan)

• Galileo (biography)—Leonard Everett Fisher

• Hands-On Science Mysteries—James Robert Taris and Louis James Taris

• Movie: Jesus Christ, Superstar
• Field Trip: The Cloisters Museum


October
• Writing Theme:

• What is beauty? Why do I find things beautiful?

• Language Arts

• Nonfiction Passages with Graphic Organizers—Scholastic

• Follow Directions & Learn--Scholastic

• Social Studies:

• Ancient Greece—Core Knowledge: 92-98

• Reading:

• Myths & Stories—Core Knowledge: 25-45

• Children’s Homer—Padraic Colum

• Athens vs. Sparta—Nov/Dec 96 Calliope Magazine

• Math:

• Unit III, Lessons 15-20—Math U SEE (Gamma)

• Geography:

• Ancient World Rome/Greece—www.worldatlas.com

• Science:

• Understanding the Metric System-- http://edhelper.com/metric_system.htm

• Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris

• Art:

• “Classical Art”—Core Knowledge (172-174)

• Movie: Jason and the Argonauts
• Field Trip: Greek and Roman Galleries, Metropolitan Museum of Art

November
• Writing Theme:

• What is heroism?

• Language Arts

• Nonfiction Passages with Graphic Organizers—Scholastic

• Follow Directions & Learn--Scholastic

• Social Studies:

• Ancient Rome—Core Knowledge: 100-105

• Reading:

• Myths & Stories—Core Knowledge: 25-45

• Classic Myths to Read Aloud—William Russell

• Great Lives: Medicine (biography)—Rob Curtis

• Math:

• Unit IV, Lessons 21-30—Math U SEE (Gamma)

• Science:

• Astronomy as it relates to the myths: Stars: A New Way to See Them—H. A. Rey

• Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris

• Art:

• “Medieval” Art—Core Knowledge (176-180)

• Movie: Spartacus
• Movie: Camelot
• Field Trip: Socrates Sculpture Park, Long Island City


December
• Writing Theme:

• Which is more helpful to mankind: science or religion?

• Language Arts

• Nonfiction Passages with Graphic Organizers—Scholastic

• Follow Directions & Learn--Scholastic

• Social Studies:

• The Enlightenment—Core Knowledge: 106-109

• Reading:

• The Universe for the Beginner—Patrick Moore

• Quotes: Descartes, Hobbes, Jefferson, B. Franklin, Newton, Galileo

• Math:

• Review & Final—Math U SEE (Gamma)

• Geography:

• Europe—www.worldatlas.com

• Science:

• Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris

• Art:

• “Renaissance” and “Neoclassical” Art—Core Knowledge (180-190)

• Movie: 1776
• Field Trip: New York City at Christmastime

January
• Writing Theme:

• When is it right to go to war to create change?

• Language Arts

• Nonfiction Passages with Graphic Organizers—Scholastic

• Follow Directions & Learn--Scholastic

• Social Studies:

• French Revolution & Romanticism—Core Knowledge: 111-120

• Reading:

• The French Revolution—Adrian Gilbert

• Math:

• Unit I,—Math U SEE (Delta)

• Geography:

• North America—www.worldatlas.com

• Science:

• Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris

• Art:

• “Romantic” and “Rococo” Art—Core Knowledge

• Movie: Tale of Two Cities
• Field Trip: Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum

February
• Writing Theme:

• In an ideal society, how should workers be treated?

• Language Arts

• Nonfiction Passages with Graphic Organizers—Scholastic

• Follow Directions & Learn--Scholastic

• Social Studies:

• Industrialism, Capitalism, Socialism—Core Knowledge: 122-130

• Reading:

• Marie Curie: Brave Scientist—Keith Brandt

• Read aloud: 1984

• W E B Du Bois and Racial Relations—Seamus Cavan

• Math:

• Unit II—Math U SEE (Delta)

• Geography:

• United States—www.worldatlas.com

• Science:

• Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris

• Art:

• “Realism”—Core Knowledge

• Movie: Raisin in the Sun
• Movie: On the Waterfront
• Field Trip: Studio Museum in Harlem

March
• Language Arts

• Nonfiction Passages with Graphic Organizers—Scholastic

• Follow Directions & Learn--Scholastic

• Social Studies:

• Latin American Independence—Core Knowledge: 132-141

• Reading:

• Jose De San Martin, Latin America’s Quiet Hero—Jose Fernandez

• Spanish South America—May/June Calliope Magazine

• Living in South America—Chantal Henry Biabaud

• Simon Bolivar: Latin American Liberator—Frank de Varona

• Math:

• Unit III, Lessons 15-20—Math U SEE (Gamma)

• Geography:

• South America—www.worldatlas.com

• Science:

• Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris

• Art:

• “Latin Artists”

• Movie: Evita
• Field Trip: Met—Art of the Spanish Americas

April
• Writing Theme:

• What do you think the experience was for immigrants?

• Language Arts

• Nonfiction Passages with Graphic Organizers—Scholastic

• Follow Directions & Learn--Scholastic

• Social Studies:

• Immigration to the US—Core Knowledge: 142-148

• Reading:

• Immigrant Kids—Russell Freedman

• Math:

• Unit IV—Math U SEE (Delta)

• Geography:

• World—www.worldatlas.com

• Science:

• Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris

• Field Trip: Lower East Side Tenement Museum
• Movie: Avalon
• Movie: I Remember Mama

May
• Writing Theme:

• How did photography affect politics and law?

• Language Arts

• Nonfiction Passages with Graphic Organizers—Scholastic

• Follow Directions & Learn--Scholastic

• Social Studies:

• Industrialization & Urbanization—Core Knowledge: 92-98

• Reading:

• Read aloud: Hard Times—Charles Dickens

• Kids at Work: Lewis Hine and the Crusade Against Child Labor—Russell Freedman

• Math:

• Review and Finale—Math U SEE (Delta)

• Geography:

• US Features & Urban Centers—www.worldatlas.com

• Science:

• Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris

• Art:

• “Photography of Urbanization and Industrialization”—selections

• Field Trip: International Center of Photography
• Movie: Stolen Childhoods

June
• Writing Theme:

• Hope: Why should we feel hopeful about the future?

• Language Arts

• Nonfiction Passages with Graphic Organizers—Scholastic

• Follow Directions & Learn--Scholastic

• Social Studies:

• Reform—Core Knowledge

• Reading:

• Story of Booker T. Washington—Patricia McKissack

• The Story of the Haymarket Riot—Charnon Simon

• Math:

• Review, if necessary

• Geography:

• World—www.worldatlas.com

• Science:

• Hands-on Science Mysteries—Taris & Taris

• What were your favorite experiments from this year? Why?

• Movie: Miracle Worker
• Field Trip: Fun day in New York/Central Park.

Note to Self: Research Requirements for Creating a 503c Not-for-Profit...

For those who empathized over Phil the Tiger Shark's mysterious disappearance--you may be happy to discover that he is once again a part of our merry household...a cleaner Phil, a Phil that arrived in a box in the mail...from Ohio...with a packing slip and bubble wrap...

My point is: Phil is among us, again. Though mum's the word on whatever happened in Nashville...what happens to tiger sharks apparently stays with tiger sharks. Or sumthin...

Around the same time as this most-felicitous reappearance, we were over at the home of a particularly crafty friend who had MADE HER OWN LEMONADE STAND OUT OF A BROKEN PICNIC TABLE. She lives on the perfect street for such a commercial endeavor and an hour later, at one thin quarter per cup, the boys were collectively $14 dollars in the green.

Now, Ben had already decided that his share of the libation-booty would be donated to The Riverhead Foundation for Marine Research and Preservation. (This after we discussed the importance of GRASS ROOTS FUNDRAISING and where best an eleven year old boy might make a difference to creatures of the sea.) What was interesting, though, was how many of the other boys ultimately agreed to donate to Ben's pet project as well...social skills be damned! You have to respect the passion and knowledge my son brings to the table when he is interested in something (ten years later, I am beginning to see the positive side to all of that passionate emotion and energy that toddler of mine possessed!). All the children involved had seen Ben running down Maple Avenue behind every car that passed, shouting:

"Do you care about the health of our oceans?!? Do you want your grandchildren to be able to see dolphins someday or are you willing to see dolphins GO THE WAY OF THE DODO?!? Do you UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR HEALTH IS CONNECTED TO THE HEALTH OF OUR OCEANS??????? THEN DON'T BE A DODO!!! BUY SOME LEMONADE!!!"

You could see it on the faces of his business partners: THAT is a kind of lunacy that I cannot duplicate, but can RESPECT!

The only financial holdout was James, his own brother, who wanted to put his $2 towards a launching Poke-ball.

"Dodo! Dodo! Dodo!" Ben hissed periodically for the rest of the evening...


Cue: our dinner table, a couple of evenings later.

"I want to make more money for the Riverhead Foundation," my son told me excitedly. "After dinner, can we build our own lemonade stand?"

"Exhausting as that sounds," I answered brightly, "no!"

(If it weren't so irritating, I would be daily touched by my children's near bottomless well of belief in my many abilities...)

But then the wheels started turning. "What about this?" I asked. "You've been working on creating a storybook of your pictures of Phil and Hamtoro. What if we had ten turned into books through iPhoto (the little books are only about $5 apiece) and we try to SELL THEM as a fundraiser? And then, we could send the profits from your books to The Riverhead Foundation (which would require some math)! AND! We could count this as part of your school requirements for art, science and technology!"

I will do just about ANYTHING to avoid manual labor...

Shark Week is Coming!

Discovery Channel's Shark week happens at the end of this month! July 29 through August 4, people!!! The boys and I had an absolute blast tonight playing with a Shark Video Mixer on the station's website--it's very similar in design to iMovie: you just drag and drop images, clips, sound effects, transitions and music onto a time-line...and then click "play" to enjoy the fruits of your labors!

It's a great exercise in sequencing events as well as a science lesson AND a creative lark.

Oh, c'mon! When was the last time YOU went on a creative lark???

So I Guess Mammoth Burgers Aren't An Option, Either?

I'm NOT having soup for lunch today! It is like the Permian mass-extinction out there, it's so hot!

--Quote and picture by Ben

If you could go back in time, who would you visit?

It amazes me sometimes what I find myself YELLING OUT LOUD...today? I actually yelled out the phrase

How many times do I have to repeat myself? "Rock, paper, scissors" is a verbal contract! Once you play it, you HAVE to stand by the result! Otherwise you have just LIED!!!

Absolutely yelled it. Had a sore throat afterwards. Families all over the neighborhood can now understand, define and put in a sentence the words SOCIAL CONTRACT!!!!

I am NOT the patient mother that I envisioned pre-parent-hood--some fabulous combination of Maria VonTrapp and Annie Sullivan with just a dash of Mother Theresa thrown in. This seemed a reasonable possibility in my 20's: all I had to do was learn how to play classical guitar and, maybe, take a vow of poverty. Regarding the latter...hey, I was well on my way!

There were times when Ben was little where I would just close him in his room, lock myself in the bathroom and SCREAM! I figured that the screaming was better than hurting him--I was capable of that much rational thought. These were the days when I was ON all of the time, those first three years. When...

• his sleep schedule was to fall asleep at midnight, up at 8, with a a 2-hour nap from 4-6 pm--on good days;
• if he got sick (often in the toddler years), he'd cut his sleep IN HALF;
  
• he was phobic of blood, darkness, shoe stores, hair cuts, doctor's offices, large spaces, small spaces, loud noises, nail clippers, baths, crowds, bowel movements [um, his], stomach viruses (which he seemed prone to, and which always resulted in me ultimately walking stiffly away to shower out a hair and chest-full of vomitus)... and being alone--like, for instance, when his mother was taking a shower;
• phobias were expressed through terrified, hysterical crying--for hours, often taking the place of sleep periods;
  
• he was hyperactive and accident-prone (I mentioned the blood phobia, right?)
• he narrowed his diet to grapes, peanut butter crackers, cereal bars, milk, apple juice, hamburger and ice cream for an entire year--FYI: seedless grapes in February will run you $7.99/pound;
• his father was in the Navy--crummy health insurance, low pay AND a complete lack of family values? YES, PLEASE!!!
• his father was also going to graduate school full-time...
• oh, OH! AAaaaaaaaaand: I'd given birth in a military hospital 3,000 miles from anyone that I knew and then moved across the country to another town (albeit, a pleasant one) where I had no friends.

So, sometimes? I went in the bathroom and screamed. Scrunched up my eyes, put my head between my legs and bellowed. Probably akin to the sounds I made during childbirth--definitely the same position. To this day, I do not know what the neighbor on the other side of the wall might have thought of this behavior. God willing, she was at work and not sitting in her kitchen, checking her calendar and muttering, "yup: day 22 of the cycle. Again."

I was pretty sure, however, that this type of behavior would not qualify as the requisite miracle the Vatican seeks out in all its petitions for sainthood...

After my personal pity parties, though, I would go back to my little boy, who would no doubt be hysterical in my absence, standing at the gate I had in his bedroom door, looking like the littlest, most unhappy inmate at Alcatraz: face red and wet, body hot from crying, nose running copiously, arms outstretched and jittering for me to hold him.

And I would take him and hold him. And sometimes we'd both cry some more. The reasons I was able to keep any sanity at that point were pretty simple: he was mine. I loved him. He was made more miserable by his senses, his whacky sleep schedule, the way the world crashed in on him, than I was. He loved me. He needed me...

What I realize now, in retrospect, is that I created my own "therapy" for him, on the fly, out of a need to survive. We read together because it was something that we both found soothing. For hours, most days. Bedtime began at ten in the evening and didn't end until midnight. Book after book after book. And then three more readings of THE POLAR EXPRESS. That Van Allsburg draws AMAZING pictures...but his text is for crap...

Nap time would also be preceded by an hour or more of reading. What we didn't spend on grapes or Thomas the Tank Engine trains, we spent on books. (So, it floored me, down the line, when the child with the professorial vocabulary had such a HARD TIME learning how to read...)

There was the language therapy the child should have been eligible for, if anyone could have diagnosed him at that point...

When we weren't reading, we played together. At two and a half, the child could tell the difference between an isosceles and an equilateral triangle, an octagon and a hexagon. He liked the Tupperware shape sorter, so by golly, THAT'S WHAT WE PLAYED WITH!

That is: when I wasn't setting up lavish train layouts with wooden track. Those train layouts taught a great deal: accidents happen, problems are solveable--not scary, tipped bridges can be turned upright, magnets go front to back, everyone makes mistakes--even mommy...

There were our beginnings of life skills and parallel play...what Dr. Stanley Greenspan now calls "floor time" and what many progressive educators are beginning to prefer to the rigid therapy of ABA...and we definitely did it the prescribed 30 or 40 hours a week...


What I realize now is that I wasn't a saint--absolutely not. But I did do a good job. I wish I could go back and tell that younger mom, "Hey! What you're doing is really, really hard! You're not crazy to be exhausted and scared. But he's gonna be amazing."

Absolutely amazing.

I'd probably wind up screaming it at her, though. My days are easier but I'm still no paragon of patience.